You deserve to exist

I can’t say that. I don’t want to sound weird. I shouldn’t wear that. It makes me look chunky. What did they mean when they said that? Ahhh, did I really do that? Why am I even bothering? Is there a point to this?

Not going to lie, my internal dialogue sounds a lot like this some days. I agonise over every minute detail of myself to the point where I feel like I owe everyone an apology for existing. Not a fun way to go.

If there’s any light to this grim inner predicament, it’s that the people we’re scared of being judged by are often consumed by their own inner conflicts to give us a second thought.

I recently read a quote somewhere which went along the lines of “when you’re in your 20s and 30s, you worry about what others think of you. When you’re in your 40s and 50s, you don’t care what people think of you. But when you reach 60 and beyond, you realise no one was thinking of you.”

While I don’t subscribe to the idea that the way we feel about ourselves is contingent on our age, it fascinates me how the restrictions we have on our enjoyment of life largely stem from own internalised assumptions.

The fact that our sense of discomfort within ourselves stems from the way we speak to ourselves gives me hope. It means we control the lens in which we view ourselves and thus construct the reality we allow ourselves to experience.

With that being said, I would now like to share some of the ways I seek to give myself permission to exist:

Live romantically

Whether it’s catching up with a friend, going to work or going for a fun outing of sorts, I prepare for it as if I’m going on a romantic date.

I wear clothes I feel good in, do my hair and make-up the way I want and mindfully celebrate the beautiful moments of the day. This sense of love and appreciation for life is the energy I seek to bring to every space I enter.

While I would never want to promote the idea that we have to suppress our murky emotions for the sake of being “romantic,” I enjoy the notion of cherishing ourselves like we would if we were anticipating a meeting with a special someone.

We are our own special someone we have the privilege of meeting every day.

Eat intuitively

Don’t kick me out for including this health buzz-word. Bear with me!

With so much conflicting information around health and the perceived virtues of self-presentation, it can be hard to feel like we’re making the “right choices” with our eating habits.

In my experience, I’ve attempted to adhere to a largely plant-based diet. Even when I felt light-headed and weak, I persisted. I was determined to live up to an expectation I created for myself, but it ate up my joy. Constantly low and depleted, I felt like a shadow of who I could be.

When I eventually listened to my body’s pleas to eat more protein-rich foods, I felt like I had a greater capacity to explore the opportunities that came my way.

Please note this is my personal experience of learning to be intuitive with my food choices. If you follow a plant-based diet and feel great, that’s wonderful. I would never tell someone to not be plant-based if that’s what feels best for them.

One thing I hope you take from my experience is that ignoring our body’s yearning for something more (whatever that may be) won’t obliterate the suffering. Our best bet is to monitor any persistent calls our bodies give us and to consult with a qualified health professional on how the situation can be remedied.

There’s nothing to be gained in striving to adhere to an illusion of purity through restrictive food choices.

Exercise – embrace our physical capabilities

We’ve all heard variations of the sentiment “use it or lose it” when it comes to our physical health. When combined with intrusive messaging around body image expectations (whether that be media influence, from people in our life or our own negative self-talk), such a sentiment can feel toxic.

When I exercise, I do my best to focus on how I feel rather than tell myself I need to perform to fit a mould (this is easier said than done!).

Regardless of how exercise makes me look, I notice clear differences in my vitality when I regularly exercise versus when I’m taken out of action in some way. My legs feel springy and ready to skip and dance at any moment. My mind is clear, and my heart rate is consistent. I feel physically strong and equipped for whatever life has to throw at me.

Being hyper aware of the visceral benefits of exercise keeps me grounded to a daily exercise routine. I especially love exercising in the morning as I find I’m less fidgety and more able to concentrate on my work.

Let’s exercise to feel our best!

Express our soul purpose

We’re good enough to do what we secretly love. Paint the picture. Write the book or poem. Sing the song. Film the video. Design the dress. Plant the garden. Decorate the house. Cook the meals we save on Pinterest!

Life is an unfolding of creation and we are all microcosms of that process. Creativity is our natural state of being. It isn’t a divine right that only a few with a “special gift” can exercise.

We don’t need to earn our income exclusively from our creative passion for it to be worthwhile. The act of doing it is enough.

If we feel a burning desire to connect it with an audience, we share it open-heartedly. We have nothing to lose and everything to gain when we contribute to the collective heart of humanity.

Be open to insights

Education isn’t contained within school. Learning – whether that be from interactions with other people, books we read, our dreams or channelled insights from spiritual entities – is all around us all the time.

One of the best ways we can give to ourselves is by consciously opening up to the magic in every day living. It’s the source that powers our creation.

Talking ourselves into a state where we feel we have no right to exist is easy. But thankfully, the key to reversing the narrative rests in our hands. We give the final sign-off on our ability to enjoy life.